the naming

It's been a (long) half month since George's birthday, birthday party and naming ceremony. The week was a little harried, a little different than I'd imagined, but in the end everything worked out beautifully. The fog lifted in San Francisco just in time for George's aunties to make it and in the absence of challah or a mohel, my baby got his Hebrew name just the same.

When I was researching the bris shalom, I found very few resources online for parents who, like us, were trying to welcome and name their son in a gentle and respectful secular way, not incorporating circumcision. The local synagogue provided a less than receptive community, but a couple of friends recommended Barbara Gilday, a lay minister who works with the Unitarian church in town, and she turned out to be a really good fit. If you, like us, live in a town without a very big, active or liberal Jewish community, but you'd like an officiant, as we did, you might have similar luck with your nearby Unitarian fellowship.

Barbara isn't terribly knowledgeable about Judaism, but this turned out to be sort of helpful. She had very few preconceived ideas about how the bris shalom might go, what was traditional and what we "should" be doing. We found some scripts and sat down together to craft a ceremony with only the meaningful-to-us and none of the extras or concessions. The result was a short, sweet and informal gathering with babies running around, friends and family sharing well wishes, bread and honey and -- most importantly -- an intact baby boy with a brand-spankin'-new Hebrew name.

Here is the script. I realize this won't be a riveting post for most people, but my hope is that someone might stumble across it while researching for their own son's bris shalom, and find a useful bit or support for the somewhat thankless task of naming an intact Jewish boy. Without further ado:

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Cast of characters:

Barbara: officiant

Stefanie: mama

Nathan: papa

Tara and Alena: godmothers

Barbara: In every birth, blessed is the wonder
In every creation, blessed is the new beginning
In every child, blessed is life.
In every hope, blessed is the potential.
In every transition, blessed is the beginning.
In every existence, blessed are the possibilities
In every love, blessed are the tears.
In every life, blessed is the love.

Nathan: This Bris Shalom, Hebrew for Greeting or Welcoming Covenant, is our naming and
welcoming ceremony for our son, George Singer. In following part of ancient Jewish custom,
we mark our commitment to raise him in the Jewish tradition, culturally.

Stefanie: We are gathered here today to welcome our baby boy into our circle of family and
friends.

We wish to recognize some of the people who will be important in his life:
His grandparents
His aunt and cousin
His godmothers

(during this recognition we named George's immediate family, including those who weren't able to make it, and his godmothers, who held him during the ceremony)

Barbara: Precious is every living thing in the world
Precious is the life of humankind.

In addition to symbolizing the fruit of Stefanie and Nathan’s union, they drink wine to follow
age-old traditions. They drink wine from this special Kiddush cup. Today, it is filled with the wine
of a sweet young life and from it they taste the sweetness of the great joy that having a family has
brought them.

(Nathan and Stefanie drink from cup and give George a taste.)

Nathan: With each child the world begins anew. By this ceremony your mother and I formally
welcome you to our world and our family. As we name you today, we undertake our
traditional responsibilities as your parents to take you forward into the world as we know it, to love
you, to guide you, to educate you, and to cherish you. You are whole, complete, and perfect. We
promise you, before our family gathered here today in your honor, to do our very best for you each
and every day hereafter.

Stefanie: George, we dedicate you to Torah -- to a never-ending fascination with study and
learning. With a book, you will never be alone.

Nathan: George, we dedicate you to chuppah -- to never-ending growth as a
human being, capable of giving and receiving love. With loving family and friends, you will never
be alone.

Stefanie: George, we dedicate you to ma-asim tovim -- to a never-ending concern for family and
community, justice and charity. While you care for others, you will never be alone.

Nathan and Stefanie: George as you begin your journey through life, may we learn and grow in
our wisdom together. (One after the other.)

(Here, during the actual naming part of the ceremony, Tara, one of George's godmothers talked a little bit about the woman for whom George was named -- Jane Schaffer. She explained the meaning behind his Hebrew name, Ro'i, which means shepherd, as does Schaffer. She then read the Mary Oliver poem "Wild Geese" which Jane and I both love[d].)

Stefanie: Now we would like you to please share any thoughts, blessings, well wishes for
George. (Here, a few people shared their wishes.)

All together: George, all of us bless you and pray that you, together with us, share a life of
wholeness and hopefulness and peace.

Stefanie: Bread is the symbol of sustenance and honey the sign of sweetness. We dip the bread
in honey in hope that our daily strivings will be sweetened by our love for each other. Please share
bread and honey with us to symbolically wish George a sweet life.

Here we passed around and ate the bread.

Alena (Godmother 2): May this child thrive with his mother and father and let his name be known as
Ro'i bar Nathan.

Barbara: Thank you for coming. Nathan and Stefanie now invite you to stay and enjoy refreshments.
L’chaim!

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Comments

[cara]

it was a truly beautiful ceremony which i was honored to be invited to. thank you for sharing with us. we love your wonderful little family!

[Jenny H]

So beautiful, Stefanie! It sounds absolutely perfect.

[:) Happy Jew]

Thank you so much for this inspiring story. We are Jewish and chose not to circumcise either.