to my children on Yom Kippur

It may be years before you can read this, and will certainly be years before it makes sense, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for snapping at you; I'm sorry for expecting and often requiring that you adopt my priorities as your own. I'm sorry for the times I have hurt your feelings with harsh words, inattention, dismissiveness or misunderstanding that I don't take the time to repair in the moment. I'm sorry for not allowing your personalities to develop unadulterated by my own hang-ups; I'm sorry for consulting books to make sure you're not sociopaths. Despite that I can almost guarantee that I will yearly ask forgiveness for the same thing, I'm sorry for my frequent inability to nurture your psyche before I foist reason upon you. I'm sorry for the times I inadvertently embarrassed you though I will no doubt continue to do that, too. I'm sorry for the times I tried to make you be different than you are.

May you be sealed in the book of life, which I don't believe in, except in your cases (I'm sorry for my uncharacteristic inconsistencies). I will tell you abridged versions of these at bedtime, as the sun sets, and you will ask for an apple or offer a hug; your hands will repeatedly, noisily "blast off" and your fingers will walk up my nose and into my hair (I'm sorry I make no attempt at hiding how annoying I find that) while you interrupt me to talk about a new kind of car you've invented. Please forgive me for the times I've taken these scenes for granted. Thanks for sticking with me while I try to do better.

Love,
mama

nes gadol haya sham

Baruch zemahn shel simhah, z’man shel or tikvah laohlahm.

hundred dollar hanukkah: the gifts

As I said in the post that introduced my idea for a hundred dollar Hanukkah, this year we decided to set a budget of $100 and limit our gifting to one present for the whole family per night. When last I left you, I showed you how George and I made a little menorah which would be our family's first night gift. As promised, I'm back to share what's in store for the other nights (well... six of them, anyway). But not before you get in the mood with the Maccabeats. Take it away, boys!

My favorite Maccabeat is the one that looks like Neal Schweiber, how about you? Okay, now that you're in the mood:

First Night - DIY menorah. Candle cups (2 packs): $1.69 apiece; wood for base: $1.20 (1.99 with a 40% off coupon). Paint we had. All from Michael's. total: $4.58

Second Night - Movie and popcorn. Where The Wild Things Are (from the somewhat puzzling discount DVD bin at Michael's): $6.99; Popcorn: free (well, paid for at some point, but in the pantry). I'm cautiously optimistic about the movie choice, as George has a love/hate relationship with Maurice Sendak as should all children have with dead geniuses. total: $6.99

Third Night - Photobooth style family portrait. 8x24" canvas: $5 ($9.99 with a 50% off coupon from Joann); large photocopies of pictures of each member of the family: I'll be generous and say $2; Mod Podge we had. A more detailed post about this is eventually forthcoming, but it's an idea modified from this blog post found on Pinterest. total: $7 

Fourth Night - Homemade pajama pants for everyone. Our house is kinda chilly, and nothing says holidays like a family in matching flannel pants. I have a ridiculous stash of fabric, so these were free! total: NOTHING! 

Fifth Night - Gift certificate to Big Scoop Sundae Palace, our local goofy ice cream joint. I should've thrown in an extra dollar or two for the jukebox; oh well. total: $15

Sixth Night - Poppa's Pizza Pile-Up game from Value Village. Balancing is a particular interest of George's, as well as things coming suddenly crashing down, and our whole family has a soft spot (on me, it's the middle section) for pizza. A respectable collection of games is something I look forward to amassing, and this is the first we've bought specifically for play with the kids.  total: $1.99

Seventh Night - Tickets to the Seattle Aquarium. A splurge, but (I think) a smart one as outings like this go. Kids under 4 are free, and it'll be nicer to be inside the cozy aquarium than it would be trudging through the mud at the Woodland Park Zoo. George's birthday is also on the seventh night, and I wanted to make this gift something to look forward to, since he'll have plenty of new stuff to focus on. total: $40

Eighth Night - As the sun sets on the last night of Hanukkah, we'll be finishing up George's third birthday party. I have a special outing planned for that evening, and don't want to give too much away -- even Nathan doesn't know what we're doing! -- but wanted to close the holiday with something we could all make together, to use forever... or until someone breaks it. I'll take pictures. total: $20

GRAND TOTAL: $95.56

This was such a fun way to celebrate what is, in actuality, not a super big Jewish holiday, but one I get a little aggro about people forgetting in a peppermint and Burl Ives-induced fog. Still to come this month: a bowling afficionado turns three, a Solstice for which I have perhaps unwisely promised a certain youngster he may stay up "all day long and all day night," a smallish Christmas and a thirty-third birthday for the hardest working, baby-slinginest papa there ever was. Oof. Remind me to never have another winter baby.