Some might argue that all toddlers are "knock-down" kids, but I know for a fact that this isn't true. Some of George's friends are, as I was, setter-uppers: delight-takers in all things organizational, gods of tiny, curated kingdoms where giraffes and camels and crocodiles are placed just so, inside the fence borrowed from the Breyer stable, where Playmobil families stand calmly by with their arms at their sides. The unsuspecting kid sets everything up, then looks benevolently at their creation with satisfaction. Until, that is, George comes along (delight-taker in all things crash-boom-smash), and obliterates the unlikely plastic animal peace brokered by his now-pissed little friend.
It's hard to watch, and hard to participate in this kind of play when you're a setter-upper by nature. No amount of oohing and aahing over another child's train table masterpiece matters to a knock-down child such as mine. He won't take a hint. He simply loves to see things fall, hear them hit the ground, and detail to you what just happened with plenty of sound effects.
It's taken me awhile -- and I'm still working at it -- but after some reframing, I'm beginning to enjoy this aspect of my son's personality. Though it's easy to see it as such, this way to play is not entirely destructive; he's actually really interested in the mechanics of falling, of crashing and coming apart. That's something I appreciate and an interest I want to enable in constructive, educational and fun ways. To that end, I've been trying to come up with some activities that we can do together, that are cool to him but aren't grating for me, as it is still pathetically painful to watch him tear up the perfect track I'd just laid to optimally make use of the entire surface area of his train table, when he asks me to "play trains."
The following are just a few ideas, and most are probably obvious to less uptight parents or caregivers, but I don't figure I'm the only one out there at a loss for how to have more boisterous fun.
1. Dominoes. We set them up in different configurations -- letters, shapes, snakes, spirals -- and then George knocks them down. He's learning several lessons during set up (spatial stuff like how far apart the dominoes can go before they break the chain reaction; letter/shape identification; delayed gratification, etc.) with the added bonus of a big payoff at the end. Often he can't wait and "accidentally" knocks over the unfinished set-up, but he's beginning to gain some patience around that.
2. Jenga (or, around here, "Jenga" since we don't actually own the game). The same idea can easily be accomplished with some regular blocks of different shapes. I quickly build a tower of layered blocks and we remove one by one from the middle. Again, he generally knocks the whole thing down "accidentally" but not before having a few turns of genuinely trying to choose wisely.
3. Natural disaster. Admittedly either poorly or excellently timed, this game is exceedingly popular, since it's basically what George was doing already. For whatever reason, I find the destruction more palatable when I think he's learning something, so when he asks me to accompany him in some duplo play, we build up a city (his favorite thing to build) using every last one of the blocks. Then, Oh no! hurricane/earthquake/tsunami George strikes, devastating the place. Who will help these people rebuild their homes? As we rebuild, we talk about what makes the natural disaster of choice happen, and ways we can actually help people in these crises. He usually humors me and seems to be retaining some of the information.
4. Watching Mythbusters. I know, I know. But! Several seasons of Mythbusters are available on Netflix streaming and Amazon Prime, and while we are very choosy with the episodes we watch (no guns, no violence, nothing too bloody or gross), I will totally and shamelessly confess that George has gotten a lot of inspiration from Adam and "Janie." The show covers simple physics in ways that speak to kids, and incorporates plenty of harmless crashy/splashy fun by way of non-"accident" car myths, waterslides, and George's personal favorite: an episode wherein a batting machine knocks the hide off a baseball. He is forever making his own contraptions that will drop pretend toast to see if it lands butter-side-up, or measure how high his "humid" baseball bounces, as he's seen on the show. It's refreshing to see some of his more destructive urges routed into scientific play.
5. Splashy bath. When all else fails, I throw George in the tub and let him splash away. He has a stash of different sized cups in addition to his bath toys, and the inclination to crash around seems to be satisfied in short order when there's water involved and he's allowed (almost) completely free play. My only rules are no purposely pouring water out of the tub and no standing. I don't participate much, but do watch him and give an occasional thumbs up or validation when he asks if I saw the huge splash.
Of course, free play outside is always preferable, but with a bad weather-averse kid, we don't get out as much in the rainy months as we do when it's clearer. These five things have been working for us lately, and I hope to stumble on some more to add to our repetoire. Do you have any knock-down games that both you and your child enjoy?
Sunday, February 17, 2013 at 12:03PM 
