on hiring a doula

I've encouraged a gajillion women to invest in a doula. I count several doulas among my friends and am never at a loss for one to recommend to any interested parties. I've got a super-hippie doula reference, a regular-lady doula reference, a conservative Christian doula reference, and most everything in between. I love playing a small part in facilitating that relationship, and always feel a little like a matchmaker when I hear of a successful interview. I even (somewhat creepily) had my picture taken with Penny Simkin, who is, you know, THE DOULA.

Penny, Lauren of Hobo Mama, and me

There's one hitch in this lovefest, however, and it appears when someone asks: Who did you use? 

Because me? I didn't hire a doula. Too expensive, too self-indulgent, too much focus on me, and nobody I could fathom being "in the room." I had a supportive, informed partner and the best midwife in the entire goddamned world. What did I need a doula for? This thinking was borne out when my labor lasted less than three hours and we settled in comfortably at home to revel in our great experience and sweet new baby. 

When I learned of a local doula who did placenta encapsulation, I contacted him (yep: him) to check on pricing and availability. It was something I hadn't really explored with my previous pregnancy and, if we could swing it financially, was on my to-do-this-time list. After all, it's like medicine, right? A justifiable expense. He directed me to his website and I was really impressed with his discussion of gender, his inclusion of chosen families, his use of the phrase "dads and other partners" and -- ahem -- his sliding scale. This is totally the guy I would hire! I thought. If I were hiring a doula, that is. 

Dear reader, I hired him. Or, more accurately, we're trading him some design and web work for his services. After sending a rambling email detailing the reasons I thought I didn't need a doula, he responded (in the least pushy way imaginable) with the myriad things a doula does outside of the potentially narrow window of direct labor support. Sandwiches! Organization! Photos! And, also, help if my labor is not as swift and mighty as last time. The four of us (Nathan, George, Doula David and I) had a coffee shop date where we talked websites and community and birthy stuff. And it was good. 

I'm opening up to the idea of help, of allowing for the reality that we may not be able to handle it all on our own. And I have one more recommendable doula in my cache... as long as you're not due on February 1st. 

What do you think about hiring a male doula? Or any doula? Did one attend your birth?